“It’s not every Thanksgiving you get to define pixilated bukkake and road head for your mom.”
— Thank you Cards Against Humanity -Colleen
- Jenni (wanting to borrow Andrew's sweatshirt forever): Whyyyy don't we wear the same size?
- Andrew: Because if I was your size you wouldn't date me, and if you were my size I wouldn't date you.
- Lady walks up to our tight spot at the parade: Is this spot taken?
- Us: yeah, sorry we have more friends coming.
- Lady: Really? Can I just squeeze in?
- Erin: Is it just you?
- Lady: It's me and my son.
- Colleen: Sorry we have 5 possibly 6 more people coming.
- Lady while smiling: The Red Sox don't save space for anyone.
- Colleen deadpan: Uh, yeah they do.
- Lady horrified by response scoffs and storms off. Sorry lady, you need to wake up earlier or have better friends who do. : -)
- Torey: I look like an oddball without my hat on.
- Colleen: It's okay, Erin looks like an oddball with her brown hair on.
“You are a resealable bag! Reseal! It is your only job.”
“If he was real, I would totally talk to him”
“I’m not sure when I got this drunk, but I’m this drunk.”
“Is it bad that I speak Jenni?”
“Really any name that ends with an I sounds like a stripper name.”
“Betty never says inappropriate things when she’s drunk; she just falls off her chair”
“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.”
- What's this part of your hand called?
- Ummm your palm?
- I can't believe I just asked that...