Quotes from our life

1 Mar 2014

“I’m sober so it’s okay if I get a ticket.”
— #logic Samantha

29 Dec 2013

Drunk

  • Jenni: Are you trying to drunk text us dirty stuff?
  • Colleen: I was, but autocorrect kept it clean.

28 Nov 2013

“It’s not every Thanksgiving you get to define pixilated bukkake and road head for your mom.”
— Thank you Cards Against Humanity -Colleen

11 Nov 2013

  • Jenni (wanting to borrow Andrew's sweatshirt forever): Whyyyy don't we wear the same size?
  • Andrew: Because if I was your size you wouldn't date me, and if you were my size I wouldn't date you.

2 Nov 2013

  • Lady walks up to our tight spot at the parade: Is this spot taken?
  • Us: yeah, sorry we have more friends coming.
  • Lady: Really? Can I just squeeze in?
  • Erin: Is it just you?
  • Lady: It's me and my son.
  • Colleen: Sorry we have 5 possibly 6 more people coming.
  • Lady while smiling: The Red Sox don't save space for anyone.
  • Colleen deadpan: Uh, yeah they do.
  • Lady horrified by response scoffs and storms off. Sorry lady, you need to wake up earlier or have better friends who do. : -)

2 Nov 2013

Oddball

  • Torey: I look like an oddball without my hat on.
  • Colleen: It's okay, Erin looks like an oddball with her brown hair on.

14 Oct 2013

“You are a resealable bag! Reseal! It is your only job.”
— Ace

28 Sep 2013

“If he was real, I would totally talk to him”

28 Sep 2013

“I’m not sure when I got this drunk, but I’m this drunk.”
— Ace

14 Sep 2013

“It smells like condoms in here.”
— Shanon on Colleen’s car

6 Sep 2013

“Is it bad that I speak Jenni?”
— Andrew

2 Sep 2013

30 Aug 2013

tellmetodrawsomething:

Fake Watterson.

tellmetodrawsomething:

Fake Watterson.

22 Aug 2013

“Really any name that ends with an I sounds like a stripper name.”
— Jenni

1 Aug 2013

“Betty never says inappropriate things when she’s drunk; she just falls off her chair”
— Eli